Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
Call me "white mamba"
Your dick is not a dangerous deadly poisonous snake
It is white.
Is it sanitary to roast marshmallows over a cigarette lighter?
you took out flashcards at the bar and went around asking guys what totalitarianism meant.
she chased the tour bus screaming I BET YOUR DICK IS THE SIZE OF YOUR MICROPHONE STAND. i think its safe to say were never getting vip passes again.
And a psychic told me I was pregnant and I am just so over life right now.
So yeah you need to stop having near death experiences at McDonalds.
The chick I hooked up with last night is my girlfriend older sister. Who is in town visiting. Who I just met. Who I just had dinner With. Who is here along with their parents and the whole family. How did my luck get so bad?
i shit in a pringles can and hid it somewhere in your house....happy hunting
How much did you drink?
Enough to be hungover and still think roller coasters were a good idea
Is it acceptable to cry on a Friday or am I supposed to drink to forget it?
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
when you come home i just want to let you know we are cats now. and we are out of eggs.
I've realized that I'm going to have to wake and bake every morning to make it through the summer without killing someone. This is ridiculous.
I thought I was bad, the girl next to me on the bench was feeding a bush a hamburger and introduced me. Only at lollapalooza.
Randomize
