can you wear a superman outfit if we ever have sex?
He invited me to see "alison wonderland" WHAT THE FUCK THATS NOT A FIRST NAME/LAST NAME TYPE DEAL
Want to come to my BBQ and Blow party?
Bad idea pregaming graduation.... she just threw up before walking across the stage... i'm gonna miss this
she works at a police station now. i think thats the definition of keeping your enemies closer.
Two grown ass men just come into the bar riding humongous tricyles
We should tie ourselves together anytime there is any type of alcohol involved. It's the safest way. I either end up with freshmen or weird ex bfs. You end up with a large cowboy. This is not good for us
if i actually get asked out by my dealer what could happen?
i don't know, but it probably involves bathtubs full of weed
I may or have may not just taken a swig out of a jar of alfedo sauce in my fridge. Dont judge me
Your boyfriends underwear are hanging from my kitchen window. Where the fuck are you?!
Can we smoke pot out of a menorah?
In the morning when you read your texts, just fyi you showed up at my house drunk off your ass and shoe less and demanded I go to the bar. You need Jesus.
If my emotions are below a 3 or above a 7, I'm crying
My sex toys have been held in customs for almost a month now. They're British, what the hell?!?
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
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