That's when you crack a 10am beer
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
The irony of calling it Pride is that you do things that no one should be proud of.
You just sent me a picture of a federal crime. Like. You don't give a fuck.
I hit a child with a fudge sickle from a moving vehicle after he flipped me off, I feel like a God. Tell no one. My partner didn't see it.
Seriously, this trumpet player gives me chills. Might be the drugs.
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
Jesus, I just want to drink. Also simultaneously punch things and rub my vagina on them.
Hey, I'm probably about to be arrested but I didn't want to wake you. But it would be cool of you to get the $500.00 I have in the box I keep my "medicine" in and come bail me out. Also I figured you would be amused at the thought of me fending off brutal prison rape tonight.
I seriously think I may just have to live here. In this bed. Naked.
I really don't know where my pants are, but that's not the problem. When are you going to unlock the door?
so dehydrated I couldn't fill the pee cup to the right line for my drug test for school. I was like sorry it was my birthday yesterday
I was masturbating and a roofer walked past my bedroom window.
it's like he didn't even know what a vagina was
Dude, A DAMN CHEESEBURGER HIT ME IN THE FACE!!! WTF was i suppoused to do!?.
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