Midget sex pt 2 tonight
Dude im not sure whos apartment i woke up in but i just showered here and their shampoo in phenomenal
remind me to tell you about the ham sandwich empire im building
have you ever been in a public bathroom and someone walked in, and you played "Fat or Crying" based on her breathing?
Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
Just scheduled a cocaine deal around my drug counsler appointment. Why yes, thank you, I do enjoy the irony that is my life.
All I want in this world right now are Doritoessssss
OK. You going to get home safe? Who are you with?
Doritoesssssss
Well at least he stopped keeping track of money by bottles of McCormick.
At beerfest, hammered, going to try to not get naked in public but i cant make any promises
There's some drunk girl alone in the field, she looks like she could use some help.
Also it's only fair that you know that that girl is me.
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
Got paid to make out with a girl. It takes skill to be this drunk and still make money
In my dream I had to eat so many peanut butter and Nutella sandwiches
I woke up this morning to my panties draped around the neck of an empty bottle of bulleit. That is the perfect visual metaphor for my life at this juncture.
I'm recovering from the blowjob...She's doing her taxes...
Randomize
