The funny thing about my wife cheating on me is that the guy probably has genital warts now. Sweet.
just looked up how to break up with someone nicely on google. glad to know im not the only one who looks up this shit.
so apparently I plead the 5th to every question they asked me when they put me under the conscious sedation to set my broken wrist
Thanks for not cleaning the drain like you were supposed to. I just vomited in the shower and I had to stand in it until I was done conditioning.
He threw up in the campfire, the alcohol in his puke caught on fire. Im marrying this man
I'm at this kids house trying to figure out if I pissed in his kitchen new years eve. Lmao, stop letting me drink.
No padding. I spent my whole summer with my nips out. October don't need that too.
That's what he gets for shittin at the strip club. Who does that??
It was easier that asking where the vagina platter is.
We fucked so hard and loud that the everyone at the party downstairs starting chanting his name. Oh I we broke a lamp.
I gave the bike taxi guy a blowjob because I didn't have any cash. College.
I'm gonna have to get a lube sherpa.
The medical term is prolapsed anal walls if you want to look into it with dignity.
I woke up just like any other Wednesday. Naked on the floor, hungover and covered head to toe in lube
i couldn't be more explicit if i hit him upside the head with a dildo
Randomize
