I am puke
..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
i will soon be in a relationship on fb
you!?
me and your mom. i mean, lisa.
My mom is making me buy a single zucchini, I look like someone who can't afford a dildo
It's like he's trying to get head in every car except his.
level of my singleness - just ate a whole pizza topless in bed.
I just saw a group of 50+ year old women all wearing shirts that said "drink up, bitches" ...please tell me that can be us some day.
Found your glasses drenched in ketchup on my driveway this morning
I went to pick my brother up downtown and I stopped at a red light a homeless old man comes up knocks on the window shows me his penis and then screams money
For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
HOW DO I ALWAS FIND THEM?! THERE WAS BE A SOCIETY OF SMALL PENISED MEN AND I MUST BELONG TO IT!
Did i tell you that he's legal and i got his number? Because he's legal and i got his number. THIS BITCH AIN'T GOING TO JAIL YET
she had a dildo shaped like a dolphin. she will forever be known as Flipper
Someone took a shit in the house somewhere and I STILL can't find it. I'm just going to move.
I was floored. Like way less concerned with him using drugs than I am with him not believing in evolution.
Randomize
