Being alone has allowed me to flourish into a complete weirdo
i just found five singles in my underwear?! im suspicious but delighted none the less
I only knew it was midnight because i got happy new years texts while i puked outside
He dumped me and I don't wanna fuck his best friend for revenge. Is this what maturity feels like?
Boxed wine mondays was one of our finer ideas
Before attempting to fly away into the night you asked me to take care of your sister. I agreed.
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
my heaven will be filled with hot naked men covered in chick-fil-a sauce and me wearing a bib
I'm rearranging all my life goals to become a billionaire by 28 and batman by 30. Not kidding.
We dug deep emotionally while eating cereal
No more weed for you
I'm a drunk white girl and my ancestors were drunk white girls, if we apologized our species would be extinct.
Come on, what straight woman, gay man, or bi person HASN'T scrolled through Justin Trudeau pictures after a bad day?
He's petting your head, we need to leave now.
I feel like I have the I just lost my virginity face and everyone at the grocery store knows it.
I mean she's doing calculus in her head to prove how NOT drunk she is.
Randomize
