It must have been true love
I don't call true love eating a bag of doritos and then going down on each other
Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
I tapped out to boredom. She bought me a full meal at Subway. Two tap beers and a pretty weak long island iced tea. I'm five dollars cheaper to fuck than she is.
i feel like verizon should give a sexter of the month award
And when we woke up we made beer pancakes. Great start to a family picture day.
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
We are winners. And by winners I mean home wrecking sluts
Isn't that what our 20s r for?? Testing the strength of other people's shitty relationships?
I deem it safe for us to drink together again.
They dropped the charges?
Yeppers. Come drink beers.
If the egyptians can build pryamids men can walk on the moon and ron jeremy can sleep with all those bitches then we can finish these three handles of vodka
He broke up with me because "we're at different points in our lives" I think it's because he saw a drag queen with their hand halfway down my pants
Love you too. There are very few people I let pee in my dishwasher.
ok I know you arent happy with the way we ended but paying someone to pass me an STD is TOTALLY FUCKED!!!
Just so you know.. If you ever cheat on me, i will cut your dick and fingers off and post them as my cover photo on Facebook. Love you.
Considering I drank for you last night, do you mind picking up your half of the hangover
Three cheers for handling my crush on my boss in an entirely reasonable manner, by having a threesome with my coworkers.
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