Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
like what am i supposed to say "im thinking of how bad that sex was"?
He told me he's not in to anal. I need to marry him, ASAP.
Does peppermint hummus sound good or am I just high?
I dont even care how hung over I am, and how shitty this bus ride will be. That was the best sex of my life and it's a beautiful morning.
Have you ever had one of those moments when you kept whispering to yourself "I'm not a slut, I'm not a slut..."?
I'm unshowered, and since I've seen this episode of say yes to the dress, I've decided to go to the store and get a frozen pizza at 10:20 am. I'm crushing life.
I wouldn't blame my organs if they just decided to quit working after this weekend
He's my BOYFRIEND but he won't sext me. I'll be like, "tell me how you want to fuck me", and he's like, "I love how we can talk about our feelings". FUCK
we have what I like to call an assload of ramen noodles
It was one of those mornings when I wake up and feel like I have to say sorry to the whole world
We are so on opposite sides of the boobs spectrum
Here's a tip: do NOT chant "MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS." during sex because the Packers won against the Giants.
Dude like i feel like i did ALL OF THE DRUGS yesterday
I'm assuming you were here at some stage because I woke up alone, clean and in a towel with mum asking my why my shoes, dress and jewellery were in the bottom of the shower.
Randomize