He like poked it twice with the tip of his tongue then left it alone. I'm sad.
all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
Remember that amazing deer? You peed next to that dear..
Just passed a guy passed out on a riding lawn mower in his front yard.
She gave me a foot massage with her tongue. I think we're both scarred for life.
Damn it if I pass out in the bathroom one more time this month im going to rehab...
I just want you to know how happy I am that you are circumcised.
I just took a shower and found half a cookie melted under my boob. Please tell me there's a reason
Drank a beer through my butt, how's your initiation going?
I think I'll handle my grief by throwing myself headlong into lesbianism. Seems like a fitting tribute to you.
Returning my drunken purchases from last night. Not a single thing I bought was on sale.
If you come home and I'm pantsless with cake smeared all over my face, I'm sorry.
He was really cute! And I know but it's just like getting my fix ya know? He's basically a human vibrator.
I took out a life ins. policy Thursday. It's okay I can die in Nashville now.
Randomize
