Are you okay?
Don't worry. Self-respect preserved. My speech was Grey's quality... I made him cry.
we screwed to my bar mtzvah tape, I became a man while watching myself becom a man
that would combine my 3 fave things. christmas funfetti and paul simon
I woke up around 30 bottles of beer, with a piece of aluminum foil in my hand, that had "you Win" Wrote in sharpie..
I wasn't sure if "you're even prettier in the dark" was a compliment. Hmm.
Do you remember giving me altiods and wishing me good luck on the walk home?
I'm dealing with this like an adult, cupcakes and beer.
We took her out for fresh air and next thing we knew, she was stumbling around the backyard picking dead leaves up off the ground and putting them in her shirt to "save them".
he puked all over my guest bed and the said he felt good enough to clean it up. he poured bleach all over the bed and passed out in it. he had the chemiacal burn for a month...
I called you daddy and let you stick things in my butt, I am a damn 11.
First he fixed my gutter. Then he flogged me and fucked me. Then he bought me a new vacuum cleaner. I don't understand Daddy Dom stuff but I ain't mad at it.
I'm just glad I met someone who probably won't punch you in the face
I came so hard my ears popped.
She was crying and pulled the collar of her shirt up to blot the tears. And then she just kept her head there. And stopped crying. "My boobs are just too amazing for me to cry." her words not mine please help she's still in that position
I'm at the gym. I've taken enough caffeine to feel inspired to be a low budget instagram fitness model. I totally forgot my push up bra though
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