the fundamentals of my vasectemy are strong
you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
he wanted to have sex on the little rocking chair but i was too high to figure out how to do that so we did it on the floor.
Springtime is officially here. I just used pool water to fill up the bong
im sitting in a tub with a sombrero on.. im just kind of confused.
constantly striving to make life awkward and more complicated, one drunk bone at a time.
What can I say, I'm a giver.
Smoking up the homeless at 3am does not make you a humanitarian.
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
So you met him?
More like I walked in on him, drunk, naked, and doing "bathtub yoga". Please stop bringing your dates home.
he showed me his third nipple on the first date. I might have low to no standards, but my god.
I've had sex with three people who have this birthday.
He started praying immediately after we hooked up, condom on and everything.
You kept calling yourself a spider monkey... Then ran to the bathroom to "prepare for the main event"
QUICK FAX ME THE BALL
Not how faxing works at all btw
Randomize
