..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
about to try to wax my asshole... wish me luck
Just used the salt in the bottom of my mcdonalds bag from last night on the eggs i made this morning. Way too hungover for this
It wasn't until that morning that I realized I wasn't actually dreaming, finding myself in the bathtub with someone laying on me
The drug dealer had chickens in his house so I know it was good stuff.
last night you told me I had a dark, salty butthole
I just remember banging him and then at some point I went and took a shower and went and laid in the closet
They started shooting fireworks out of a dryer. It was my cue to leave.
If I don't get struck by a lightning bolt from God by midnight it will be a Christmas miracle.
Its like the floor is slow but life is fast?
I see you found the nyquil...
the D I S R E S P E C T of sending someone nudes, them opening it, and not bothering to respond
I am cleaning melted cheese out of my hair. This is a new experience for me
if anyone breaks out the olive oil & slip n slide, text me 911.
You think you can just send me a picture of your dick and everything will be ok?
Yep.
I talked to his mom for a good 10 minutes with coke all over my nose. Not the best first impression
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