only you would photoshop your dick
The entire time I'm blowing him she's in the back seat lecturing me on the reasons why you're not suppose to do that while they're driving...
I've been told that their best stripper is on maternity leave. NEVER AGAIN.
AND FUCKING MGMT JUST CAME ON. CAN I GO DROWN MYSELF IN LESBIANS OR SOMETHING? IS IT TIME TO LESBIAN
we're fated to lesbian
Last time he went to Europe, every time he started drinking he would wake up in a different country with no memory. There is no way he can be tour leader.
No it's only my right leg that feels like it's about to fall off. The left is fine.
Just got shoved by an Elvis impersonator. Evidently it isn't cool to ask how much of a disappointment they are in the eyes of their parents.
I threw up in my closet when I was hammered last night. Like a fucking toddler. I can't play with the grow ups.
if a CSI technician examined our hotel room with a black light he'd think we hit the Pulse button a DNA blender without a lid
He was gunna drive a half hour for a makeout sesh. Time to take the diapers off and learn about the wonders of the penis, dude
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
It's a good thing you're straight. You'd make a horrible lesbian.
In my defense, the second lapdance I gave was because of a dare.
Tonight I totally got eaten out in the old school photo booth in the mall. Will send you pics of the photo reel asap
Mandatory face masks - finally, a solution for lip augmentation failures and bad breath.
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