it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
Yay Minnesota! I can't believe there's now a US Senator who has taken more acid than we have
and I was crying with the towel lady in the bathroom of the bar about the tragedy in Haiti. Then we hugged before I left and I gave her 10 dollars.
there's unknown territories my dick was not made to discover
As soon as he lost the election, the reception's open bar became a cash bar. I have never been so disappointed in my countrymen.
Only I could do what I did last night and feel perfectly ok working around children the next day
Just realized I have to keep sleeping with him... those scars from drunk sex on the 4th of July are still on my back and lord knows I'm not about to explain that to another guy.
we should probably just go check in at the police station right now
He bought segways. We ride them when we get drunk. Last night he ran through the sliding glass door.
Just had a heart to heart with my John Belushi poster.
I had a dream about that dude. It was the first time I had a dream about him since the tryst.
The tryst?
The hookup. I like using sophisticated words for my foolish decisions. Makes me retain some dignity.
Literally every boy I've dated is now in a somewhat successful band. My vagina has obviously been blessed by the rock gods.
Guess who isn't pregnant with a random sex ocean baby?!?!
I have peed in a lot of sinks
fell asleep while jerking off ln. woke up to my hand in my pants and my cat crawling all over me
Randomize
