it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
Just bonged a beer from a vuvuzela...this place is only doing good for me
we ran out of cups so i finished the night drinking out of a paint can.
Omg he's telling my parents stories about him doing jaagerbombs ... Lord help me
So the drug dealer I'm sleeping with just got drugs from the other drug dealer I'm sleeping with
Isn't life beautiful?
Well, I had a dudes gf walk in on us the next morning but nothing during...She shook my hand after I got dressed and said "nice to meet you with your clothes on" best moment of my life.
I wonder if the fact that I'm listening to the theme from lion king gives my neighbors the impression that im tripping faceeeee
I have a third degree burn on my inner thigh from the blunt dropping on me in the car
I remember puking but I don't remember where. PSA: don't go barefoot around the house
Plus who wants to live somewhere tom jerked off? No one.
U know this is gone far when im in the bathroom trying to take a pic of my asshole
We watched Purple Rain and then proceeded to have sex while listening to the album. If that's not exactly how Prince would want people to honor him, I don't know what is
Got so drunk last night I kinda sent a super on point sext to his kid sister...say a prayer man
My bookbag can hold 30+ beers. They shoulda put that on the tag bc its a big selling point
It's less than a hour into 2020 and I already want to punch some people in the face
Randomize
