he promised me brunch in the morning so i felt like it was ok....i really need to get a job.
I forgot to tell you. I'm at a porno shoot today.
You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
he borrowed my computer and saw his name in my recent google searches. Things got awkward real fast.
i just made my gag reflex go away.
just looked at his mug shot... not really my type
It's going to be great. They guy at the store said 3 shots and you won't be able to feel your face or stop smiling.
I just want you to know that if I ever had to fight man eating flowers or flying turtles to save my friends they'd be fucked. No one's worth all that bullshit. PS I really need to stop playing Wii while drunk.
the towel caught on fire outside the hottub but we were all too stoned to care
True enough. Do you ever think that these girls grandparents ghosts are watching you masterbate to their granddaughters and look at you in Shame?
He snorted adderall on my table. I have a feeling he's not trying to buy me flowers
Hypothetically speaking, at what point does fire become too much fire?
I think I offered a man a blowjob for his power ranger suite last night...
I just woke up naked in a bed with your brother. WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED TO NOT LETTING EACH OTHER DO STUPID THINGS?
You fucked my brother?!
the person she was housesitting for had a christmas card from charlie sheen on the fridge so we fucked on the couch and just slept in the bed
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