they started a semi-successful rumor that toby keith died. who says fraternities don't have goals
All the walks of shame were condensed into the hour before parents started showing up. Move out day is so bittersweet
He got mauled by a 200lb cement boulder and all he could say in the back of the ambulance is 'I'm so getting laid for this'
filling out my bracket based on schools with ppl I've hooked up with
He's either jacking off or listening to Kanye West.
So I got hit in the face with a frying pan. So def wont be at work for first break if I'm there at all
I wish him all the best and hope one day he can afford the surgery to remove his head from his ass
Hold on. At Sephora trying to decide what despair smells like.
I am in an eBay bidding war over a build a bear one direction tshirt, this is who you choose to bone
When we got home I apparently addressed everyone as 'peasant' since it was my birthday, this followed by me demanding for my "peasants to wash me".
I dunno I mean I feel like I owe everyone an apology except the two people I punched in the face
this is honestly why we're friends. we drink tea and plan to do drugs together.
Is it appropriate to send an apology gift to his roommates for breaking the bathroom sink during crazy sex?
You fist bumped my dick last night saying good game. That you'll be back for the 2nd game...
I'm bringing pajamas, aspirin, morning after clothes and morning after pill
Randomize
