WTF YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND?
Oh yeah that.
We tried having a conversation with our noses.
i just sold back the books i vomitted on
Feels weird sitting between two guys who've had their heads between my legs in a 24 hour span.
I found her under my bed eating airplane pretzels.
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
By midnight I was dipping doritos in frosting...that's how my simmer break diet is going.
"I wasn't planning on buying a chicken, but I bought it anyway." --some guy on the bus with a chicken
"Yeah, I only have nine toes." --that same guy
She was grinding on him and then she was eating a Big Mac. Who the hell brings a Big Mac to the club?
I just replaced the poop spray with an air horn... Now we wait!
I'll miss you, too. On the bright side, a night away from one another might give me a chance to recup seminal fluids.
Thursday is not a good day to become a felon... It's bingo night
Found my bra in the fridge. See you in 10 mins. It's gonna be a good fuckin day!
Woke up in my boxers on a subway with a phone number written on my arm in lipstick..Best Night EVER.
There. There is gum on my butt cheek IT IS NOT MINE
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