I'm gonna have a badass scar
I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
Why are all the dvds taped to the fish tank. Really.
Apparently we both projectiled on Erin at the same time.
That's some true roommate bonding right there.
You didn't know it was a gay bar until the 7th guy rejected you. You were crying because you thought it was just a bad night. No more for you.
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
Well the "Blackout with your sack out" party turned out predictably.
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
does doing it on an automatic sink count as shower sex?
Definition of cool: he wants a back tattoo of three horses running through a "paisley explosion"
How did he even become this person? Like what drugs has he done??
I got drunk by myself and ended up listening to Beethoven in the dark.
He sent me a meme at 3am. Usually guys just send me booty calls that late. I think I'm in love
He stood next to me peeing as I was puking behind a car in the parking lot, telling me how much he loved me. On the other hand, he loves me!
Randomize
