I cant believe I just managed to do a drug deal across the country for you...
Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
My mom asked me if I was being satisfied, sexually. And then discussed positioning.
A lesson I learned in the hospital....when you masturbate while attached to a heart monitor, it scares the nurses a lot.
I definitely didn't wake up this morning thinking "i wanna get gang banged today"
Either allow it in a formal toast or i will drunkenly tell your in-laws while i'm dancing on their table. either way, the truth is coming out
i'm sorry, but my penis isnt the solution to your problems
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
I'm not sending you pictures to jack off to. That's not what friends do
It was disgusting, and I would've rather licked the condensation off the windows instead, but I figured that's wasn't very ladylike
Well after we were arrested you just kept chanting "Like a good neighbor state farm is there"
I had to bail out of the tour de Franzia because I have class Saturday morning. Grad school is ruining my life
Carver called his mom a milf again
Was it on purpose this time?
And besides a nice relationship, I just really want to get laid damnit
I know you would. And one day, we'll have a moment where i'll verbally assault a stranger for you.
Randomize
