found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
dude..why do i always have to pick up the kitty litter after you drink?
I asked her if she watches the office. She said no, but do you watch I'm a celebrity get me outa here? That's when i knew. Deal breaker
Where are you? I just made a vodka + cranberry & I’m going to drive there & throw it in your face
Great News, you CAN smoke bowls with a magnifying glass
Let me begin my 3 part apology by saying that you are a wonderful human being...
I swear to god if he wasnt on the fourth floor balcony and I wasn't to drunk to climb I would kill him
Am I the only one that feels like there are hundreds of tiny people having a rave and stomping and kicking around inside my head this morning?
Please, take the 2 shots of vodka that I left as an apologie.
Can't tell if its the LSD or if that demon man just stared at my penis. Cleveland is a weird place. All true stories.
DOUBLE NIPPLE PIERCINGS ARE HORRIFYING
Underoos and an IDGAF attitude: all you need to successfully win at life
(Underoos optional)
I am 95% sure I just heard my cat say "What are you doing home? It's Saturday night."
honestly the most stressful part of moving is the chance my mom will find my vibrator
I feel like a dancer trapped in the body of a math instructor. Love, Mom
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