Im starting to think including a smiley face in texts may or may not be a code for 'lets have sex'
Im going to research this theory. . .
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
He has until sunday, then my legs are officially closed to him
red lips, whiskey sips, shaking hips, nipple slips. my life as a rap song.
I need a kidney, not a pussy. All the pussy in the world isn't going to save my life. Keep your pussy in your pants and give me a kidney.
because. if I can't sit outside naked and eat my watermelon every morning then I really don't see the point in moving in with you.
Hold on...did you Instagram a picture of you and your boyfriend while you were sending me dirty snapchats?
If my emotions are below a 3 or above a 7, I'm crying
YOU RAISED A SWORD OVER YOUR HEAD AND SCREAMED AT HIM WHAT THE FUCK ELSE DID YOU THINK WOULD HAPPEN?!
So you thought it was a good idea to make plans for the same time same place with the guy you were sort of dating AND his best friend you slept with?
I've given up on the male species, I'm just going to be a lonely whore for the rest of my life.
Someone threw up pink in the shower, there's a golf cart tipped over on the lawn and Cousin Brian is missing. What could Friday night throw at us?
SOOOOOO I just attempted to go to the gym, hungover. Ended up throwing up in the bathroom. I hope people think I'm just working out really hard
Need to use your shower bro.
FWB wearing glitter again?
It’s like she’s marking her territory
I can't believe the MLB is making the NHL look good.
Randomize
