Unmistakable female orgasm noises coming from upstairs shower
She must've brought a toy -- seriously doubt that he's up to the task
he just kept going up to random asian girls and yelling at them for breaking up the beatles
He yelled "HERE COMES THE WARMTH" before he pissed his pants. In front of the whole party.
she just built a cabin out of hotdogs and cooked it in the microwave.
now she is shaking the plate and mumbling "this is what california must feel like"
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
If she wants experimental lesbian sex, i call dibs
It's pizza for people who hate themselves. I rang the place up once i'd finished and told them if i was on death row it would be my last meal because by the time i'd got half way through it I would be begging to die.
But then I ordered two more because it was 2-4-1 and my life is a mess
I found out his moms name, maiden name, profession, and office location, his dads name and profession, his home phone, picture of their house, all of his work profiles, and the cost of their house. All I'm trying to do is find his damn twitter
I mean, as I was vomiting in front of a giant crucifix I became acutely aware of my poor choices
So, I'm a little drunk in Seattle with Glenna, but we've all agreed that it's patriotic to think about Bill Clinton from time to time during sex. 'Merica
she keeps a switchblade in her panty drawer... i am both terrified and slightly turned on
Please tell me I didn't send you a dick pic in the middle of Peter Pan..
I didn't want dick. I wanted spaghetti.
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
He has an 8 pack! HE HAS AN 8 PACK!!!!
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