that's the second time you've been mistaken as a prostitute. maybe life is trying to tell you something
its my fault though, i'm wearing tights
you're hiking in tights? you remind me of dennis quaid's fiance in the parent trap
By the way, turns out "Danny B" is his penis. Not his cousin. I was right.
I spent an hour trying to convert bar outfits to church outfits. Its hard.
Just saw a girl duct tape a cigarette back together..I feel like my life is shambles for being present for this
This is one of those moments when you do what I say or I come stalk you down like a gazelle.
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
He was showing him the picture of the 40 year old woman he made out with in Florida, turns out Chris made out with the same woman.
Go her
He stole a bottle of grenadine from the bar. And got arrested. His new cell mate is going to love his bright red lips.
There were two girls and a guy on a bed and now i can put porn director on my resume.
I guess? According to Jeff his mom is wondering when the grand babies will arrive. So I don't think they like ME so much as my supposed functioning uterus
She had a glow in the dark pastie on her forehead the last time I saw her. That should help you find her.
I am about five seconds from ripping off my clothes and throwing myself into the ocean to become a mermaid
now to finish some work and then i think i'll work out. or garden. or at the very least I'll continue eating frozen grapes and take more drugs
For one week of my life every time I pull my cock out I want the Jurassic Park theme music to start playing.
I WANT GRASS AND TREES NOT SOMEONE SWINGING A SWORD AROUND
Randomize
