just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
About to do something stupid. You'll be my call. Bring bail money.
I'm exhausted and I have velveeta stuck in my teeth
Did you eat out Derrek's girlfriend again?
He told me all about his plan for proposing to his girlfriend as pillow talk.
btw he is cheating on one twin with the other. the main woman in his life has a mullet. I defiantly have either the coolest or weirdest uncle ever
Her throat is strong enough to gargle peanut butter. I'm sure you were satisfied.
I fucking give up. OKC is where small penises go to disappoint me.
I'm back here naked if anyones wondering
I just sang country roads at the top of my lungs with my cab driver. Tonight was a success.
Oh my goodness please please please my inner slut needs some pampering, shes getting rusty and nothings worse than a rusty slut
I think mark twain said that originally
Yeah, so, that moment when the repair guy comes in and you see your cock ring on the counter one second before he does.
This is my second month of college and all I've learned is how to get a guy to go down on me without asking out loud and not to chase everclear with Smirnoff ice.
Essential life skills
Puked in the trash can. Took a bite of someone's breadstick and kept dancing and drinking
Ugh. It's days like these that make me wish my bad habits would kill me faster
Randomize