I think its a sure sign I need to get laid when every cloud in the sky looks like a penis.
Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
I met the perfect girl for you, she's smart, likes cars, has at least one ear, and really blue eyes!
please elaborate on, "atleast one ear"
he brought me knee pads...is that sweet or weird?
I am never taking advice from you again. The high heels in the shower were a bad idea. I orgasmed and almost drowned.
Lesbian sex in an alleyway drunk.
Life is so difficult sometimes. Can you imagine? Going through life, constantly creating boners everywhere you go.
make that a herd of moose. they will be my moose minions
Dude I woke up and he was pissing in the corner on his clothes... I called his name an he replied " I got this" and continued.
I don't think that calm, have their shit together people actually exist.
This guy is like Don Jon! Im over here this weekend and at least four times I've heard porn on his phone thru the bathroom door.
The highlight of the night was definitely when you starting telling ppl you could shapeshift and "proved" that by stripping.
Ive got small boobs, but they sure do like to pop out and party with the big dogs.
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
I'm too drunk to make ramen. What the fuck is this.
Randomize
