Laying in bed naked with the guy I just fucked, talking to his WIFE who's sitting across from us like we're having a fucking tea party. This is interesting.
U know those big foam mats in the back gym for track?
ya, gonna go have sex there?
No I want one to have wings and pick me up and take me home
woke up to the trail of sugar cubes leading to my bed........was i that uncooperative last night
She just got out of the car and said "hold on purse.. It's going to be a bumpy ride"
And dont forget my 23rd birthday where with no underwear i crawled through the cage of the police car. Dont get drunk be fore you get drunk.
i think my love is proven by the fact that i still want to have sex with you after this conversation
He was handing out home-made business cards that read "finger slamming bitches since 1986"\n
She had YOLO tattooed on her ass. Like, one cheek said YO, the other said LO. Even I can't handle that level of hot mess.
Witnessing a crazy lady on the bus screaming about how romney is one of the four horsemen of the apocalypse.
I sincerely hope you find your fuck buddy and have a wonderful night of champagne and whores
I didn't notice because vodka
CAN I EVER JUST MAKE OUT EITH SOMEONE AND NOT GET FRIEND REQUESTED BY THEM THE NEXT DAY.
Sexting is killing my work productivity but it's okay because I'm self-employed
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
He had a temporary tattoo of Justin Bieber on his dick and I still had sex with him
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