i barfeds in our rink
My cousin just told me i smelled good. She must like the smell of cum.
whore
Jeremys mom is here. I gave her mad jello shots and now were griding. ima give it to her: ultimate payback for him fucking my gf.
I woke up with a picture of my dick as my background. still wondering if it was a good night or not.
i wish i could google "things to eat in my fridge" so i wouldnt have to go downstairs and be disappointed
Just try to lay there and not be pregnant.
come on don't hate me. your brother looks just like you its almost a complement that i had sex with him.
I was in the freezer we were knocking over shit. Speaking of which i asked my boss. I can hook up with girls in the freezer
Yeah just sayin. Whenever you want to come over and wank me off you can
Responsible roommate: 1. Someone who takes a huge shit at work so as not to clog the toilet at home.
You have not lived until you and a ginger miget chick are jumping and waving your arms in a pitch black bathroom to turn on the motion lights. Yes, today I have officially lived.
You put THAT much Jager in me and expect me to realize when things are a bad idea?
suburban family judging/laughing at us after Jenna just pulled two flasks out of her boot on the subway
I'm pretty sure I smell like alcoholism and shame. And it's not a pretty scent.
He ate me out in a golf cart while I watched the sunset. You are so right, golf skirts do provide amazing access.
He’s perfect! He listens to Genesis during sex and has a VW bus!
You really are from the panhandle, aren’t you?
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