Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
Baby momma caught me doing baby daddy in reverse cowgirl. She kicked me out and i have no clothes, come get me.
I hope you walked the shit out of that shame.
Euphemism? No, "pantsless vodka yoga" is a legitimate pastime of mine
What is their policy on bow ties and belligerence?
I rigged together two of my vibrators for more power... I've created a monster.
Well, that now makes it the 4th girlfriend in a row to cheat on me. I don't even care anymore...I'll date a prostitute and not even worry.
I overcharge people for their weed so you can have yours for free, because I care
Totally forgot Mike has only one ball. Is it sad I'm excited to see it? Or shall I say the lack of it?
Megan brought her friend up last night, greeted her by drunkedly taking a piss all over her duffle bag of clothing
For future reference.... When you take a beer out of a 6pack... You don't insert your phone as a substitute.
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
I think your husband is breaking up with me...
It might look like I curled my hair last night but it's just the jiz.
I just dominated some guy while wearing your moms thong
Oh god he’s a clown I fucked a rodeo clown
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