I making dinner, so you might want to actually come home tonight.
oh, you finally did the dishes then?
No, bought new ones.
The lesbians are drunkenly meowing in the hallway again. This is the shit I'll miss at home.
its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
If I had KNOWN you and mom were coming to visit, I wouldn't have passed out in the frat. This is why I hate surprises.
We don't have a lot of plans besides weed and cake
Call me when you get back form court. Hopefully its not later than noon. Just remember..win or lose we still booze.
Highlight of the night: paying my cell phone bill at the bar... I need to get laid.
I'm going to be fiscally responsible and buy a handle.
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
So you let the Viking explore your nether regions?
My entire grocery store purchase consisted of Little Debbie snacks and Budweiser
I just gotta say that I feel so much better now that I got some. I mean I feel like a normal functioning adult ready to contribute to society.
We went from him going down on me to swapping baby pictures of our moms.
so my parents definitely heard me when I was cumming last night...
beach body workouts will consist of dancing and cocaine, and sugar free redbull
Randomize
