When she sits down, she uses her fat rolls like an arm rest.
im so bored in class... i just made a pie graph of my favorite bars and a bar graph of my favorite pies
Just when you think you're never going to have sex again, BOOM you're naked in bed with a guatemalan
I have Retrograde Ejaculation as a side effect from one of my meds. Is this a respectable form of birth control?
Don't remember shit. It was only until I saw the glaze on my forearm that I knew you drove to get donuts last night. I also spent 20$ there apparently
When I don't want to forget things I put them on my cigs.
C smoking isn't all bad
Since he's sober and out of jail, he acts like we are the worst people on Earth. Fuck him, the only acceptable time in life to do coke is the early twenties. He won't take that from us.
Promise me you won't have sex in my room
I can't promise you that, but I promise you that I'll try
Might want to in your tub tho. That thing is fucking huge.
he signed me a blank check so today i get to decide if i want to be a saint or a millionaire
lesson #1 of freshman year: grinding with a sombrero is difficult
im on the hungover til tuesday pabst blue ribbon diet
No that one bar I got kicked out of got closed so that technically doesn't count
She's so nice... She deserves all the dicks.
you woke up this morning in a laundry basket, only wearing rainboots.
Yeah, sometimes it takes a while to realize, wow you kind of suck and not in the fun way
Randomize