We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
i just hope all the shady shit stops so i can let him into my pants
sorry about last night, I don't know what happened but I woke up this morning and looked strikingly similar to courtney love, it had to be bad.
I'm to the point in my high that every song eventually turns into Lady Gaga
she actually told me to ignore the cokeheads in the corner with knives.
dude you guys. You can't throw up in the recycling bin. I don't think vomit is recyclable
I've been laying here all day wondering why my back hurt so bad and then I remembered last night.... When you pushed me through that glass table.
Lesson learnt. Sex toy cleaning spray is not an acceptable substitute to clean your glasses with.
Not yoga, whiskey. Totally mis-typed whiskey.
Apparently I yelled "Spring Break 1984" at a drunk couple fighting on the side of the road.
What I thought was my travel sanitizer was actually my travel lube. Most awkward transit ride of all time!
Oh Jesus. Are you going to the hospital?
No I'm showering then leaving for Vegas
I'm so sad at the lack of dick in my life I am going to get sauced and make rice krispy treats
You're a FUCKING ASSHOLE. Love mom
Randomize
