Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
I just told her she was a heartbeat above a blowup doll.
Just got a blowjob to the theme of Bohemian Rhapsody as the sun was rising. I should just kill myself because ill never top this moment.
he acted like he had never seen anyone snort lines of adderall off of a microwave before. freshman.
The cab driver had me sign for the payment and I was like give me a second while I throw up right outside your door.
I'm setting a 12:15 alarm for a taco bell run. Be awake or never wake up again.
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
at one point he couldn't find his underwear so he put on my catsuit to go to the bathroom
You know it's time to cut back when your unemployed drug dealer roommate tells you that you party too hard.
Pissed along side the highway while waving at all the traffic... if thats not a sign of a productive night to come then idk what is
Sushi was just eaten off my naked body. I feel like I can die in peace now.
I just puked in my courtyard and dripped toothpaste in my chest hair. You better be getting laid or this drunk is wasted.
I just shit my bed. Go ahead and make your 40 year old incontinence jokes now.
So i just remembered that thing i use to do with your butt because of shark week.
He threatened my life and my car because I called you. Are you sure you never slept with him ?
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