There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
she must wash her vagina with a dirtier vagina
not sure what i find more disconcerting, your text or the fact that i recognized that as a dane cook quote
I just saw a pair of panties stretched over a fire hydrant on campus... I need to get the fuck out of this town
then my gynecologist said "its like opening up buried treasure"
Last night, I accomplished the impossible. I pissed while riding my bicycle home without pissing all over myself. My Dutch friends gave me a round of applause and said I was now the king of holland.
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
Honey, I don't care how "classic you" this is. It's not gonna matter if we can't find you in the morning.
Woke up with a raging boner...good feeling abt this trial
Ask me who hasn't showered since Sunday and just got cruised at the gas station on his way to work. I'm a terrible gay.
I've found my soulmate with the cardboard Dos Equis man.
I think someone tried to make a huge bowl of ramen in my bathtub. There's noodles everywhere in my bathroom.
I have a bottle of vodka wrapped in a leg warmer in my purse. This is what it takes to get through Christmas with my family.
Yeah just had sex and grub hub came right after he did. I’d say it’s a win.
Does it count as a threesome if your friend drunkenly has sex on top of you while you're passed out?
I feel like i'm being yelled at when you type in all caps.Did you just have bad sex?
Randomize
