Yeah he is here but I can't let him know I am until he has like 30 min worth of drinks. so when he see me he isn't like "omg ew,NO!"
I have so much to learn from you, wise slut
If there was chocolate on Regis Philban's dick, I would totally lick it off. That's how desperate I am for some right now.
This is the prime rib incident all over again
he gets drunk and then tries to eat the lasers at the dance club
where did this taco bell managers name tag come from ?
Wait..I think something else did happen last night my vagina is too pleased for this level of hangover..
He blacked out at the first bar and passed out at the second...we just carried him to bar three and four and sat him in the lounge chairs, he said we're amazing
Real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch buck Rodgers in Tuesday.
Jesus Christ you're perfect.
On way back. With a shopping cart. Minimal casualties.
I just really hate taking care of things... If I can't fill it with liquor I'm not sure what to do with it.
Lol I screamed "GOT AN ORDER OF VERSACE TACOS UP" and the whole kitchen was just like who the fuck is this kid
My mom's yelling at me for being a whore and my dad's quizzing me on how to drive in winter weather....I'm home!
The worst part is there are all kinds of happy creatures out here like fucking snow white and i'm sitting in semi-dead grass, hungover with a burnt butt
I'm too picky for internet dating and by picky I mean psycho.
I aimed for bossy but it came out slutty
Randomize
