the sad thing is, im pretty sure she was serious about giving me head for my falafel
Fuck it dude, we gotta bounce before she starts talking about her steve irwin conspiracy
Just had such a rough shit, don't stop believin had to be played
DOWN HORMONES. BACK.
Tommorow.Eggs Benedict and surprise blowjob day
Some daaay... Bet your bottom dollar that some daaay you'll do that mollyyyy
you should probably know that there's a naked dude in your window
i wouldn't normally say anything but you seem to not be there
You're gonna be proud in the future that you fucked the next bill gates
I should probably stop opening conversations with 'guess who's horny'.
Why are we so great
Like I'm def going to a therapist but I wouldn't change a thing about us except maybe the peeing
As much as my throat was opened up this weekend, you'd think I wouldn't nearly choke on a damn almond.
Listen, I've got balls in my face can I call you back
So, I gotta figure when the nurses at the emergency room noticed my new hair cut it means I'm there too often, right?
I'm the one who said we should take things slow. I'm also the one who forced him into the back on my car so we could have sex.
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
Randomize