Nah, lets use your guy, my drug dealer is going all pineapple express on me
please come get me his dick is out. i'm sitting on his couch and his dick is out. come now
you told me your penis was albino and it couldnt be exposed to light so you needed to keep it in me
you stole their roomba and ran out the door so that you could 'set it free'.
we found you passed out on lawn and the roomba bouncing back and forth on the sidewalk.
This is the guy who showed up to the first day of class with a 24 pack of coke and a handle of rum in his backpack. He doesnt play by normal people rules.
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
Got a blowie from her in the cab on the way home. Made awkward eye contact with the cabbie who said, and I quote "Keep the mess in her mouth bro", I did so only out of respect
This is breast cancer awareness month... The least we can do is give a stripper some singles.
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
i think the sex is so good because i get a contact high just from fucking him
Did you put pizza in my boxers last night?
I left you 4 hours ago. Have you been walking around with shit in your pants all day?
I want to wait until after I get laid before I ask him his political affiliation. Just in case. I'm so desperate I would bang a Republican
But on a side note, how the fuck do you "accidentally " get peed on
I think I need practice at oral sex
I own a practice facility.
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