After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
I had to stop messing around with him for fear of laughing in his face. I swear it was a pinky finger in his pants
after watching ten minutes of "the decision," I conclude that King Lebron has more influence on America than Barak Obama. I love our countries values.
im sitting in a tub with a sombrero on.. im just kind of confused.
He's playing farmville on his phone while puking over the toilet..
She came to college a virgin and left on court order. We ruined her.
I just met the neighbor hes a self proclaimed coke dealer/ softporn producer.
Going to a professional golf course at 2am to throw the flag poles like javelins
Went to bed with a bowl of spaghetti O's on my chest, I make my own breakfast in bed. New level of laziness
When he was fat he reminded me of my high school best friend and I just wanted to hug him and hug him. Also, he's funny and humor is the fastest way into my pants after Doctor Who and liquor.
My serious response to your Cathy tattoo inquiry- Do you ever want to get laid by someone not wearing a Blossom style bucket hat? Tattoo accordingly.
Took his shirt off. Announced he was Jesus. Threw up. Asked me to cuddle him to sleep. And then tried to kiss me. Typical Saturday night.
I'm pretty sure I just came a kidney stone..
Literally I woke up the other day and the girl part of me was like “GET CUFFED MOTHERFUCKER” and I went ham on tinder.
Randomize
