We're like a lot better than the average bears
Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
my head feels like I tried to put alcohol out of business last night
i'm crying at olive garden. i've hit rock bottom
Spotted: woman loading franzia into a toddler-sized shopping cart for her child to push. Beautiful.
You found me in the back room alone eating someone else's whole birthday cake with my hands then asked me if you could join.
Take off that red sweater and wear my vagina as a facemask.
I just found out my college boyfriend's nickname is actually a Dutch word for little cucumber.....it all makes sense now.
There's a man in a pumpkin/reaper outfit advertising a new head shop outside the Taco Bell. I love this town.
Expect nothing less than me teaching them how to do shots and put condoms on
She was a little hefty, so I turned on the strobe light in our room. Everything looks better with a strobe light.
i told him I'd let him eat part of a weed cookie out of my cleavage, so he pulled over like a gentleman.
Walked into a bathroom stall to pop an addy for my three back-to-back finals today. Felt like Clark Kent walking into a phonebooth.
Update: that felon in Georgia I slept with is now a police officer. What a wonderful world
I think we might need a safe word for this...
Randomize
