oh my god I didn't know your sister was this good at french kissing
Its kinda awkward hearing him say the food taste like ass considering what he did last night.
me and my mom are sitting in the bank parking lot drying my beer soaked check with the heat... the whole car smells like heinekin and I'm trying to convince her I don't need a.a.
Well today was Thanksgiving Anti-Miracle Daydrinkathon so I had to be drunk by 2pm
If my thighs hurt from cage dancing last night, I can only imagine how yours feel
Thank god the bicycalist i hit was on drugs
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
I have reverted to folding laundry while watching porn. how much sadder can my life get?
How did "just two beers for happy hour" turn into naked backyard wrestling?
At my eighteen year old cousin's wedding. Getting hit on by a 9 year old. No one knows who he came with. I'm pretty sure he just showed up from the field behind the church. Help.
she just nodded and said "yeah, I'd fuck him for a reese's peanut butter cup". it's so nice to know I'm not the biggest whore living here
I will be single by the day my lease is up (234 days). Plan accordingly.
I HAVE PIZZA MONEY AT ALL TIMES IT'S CALL EMERGENCY PLANNING
Dick is the cure to depression. I'm almost positive. And cough syrup.
When campus security rolled up he stole their car and drove it like 100 feet. Then he walked up and gave back the keys because it was a hyundai.
Randomize