Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
I'm so horny
I have no idea who this is, but I'm up for a lecture on self-respect
Judging by my dry clothes and wet sheets, I think I might have gotten out of bed, pissed ON it, covered it up, and passed out on top of it
I don't think child baring hips is a compliment.
Ice cream: Good. Fraternity: Good. Eating ice cream off a Skid Row bum's ass crack in order to get into a Fraternity: Homoerotic at best. I quit.
Just saw a dude walk out of the parking. Garage in a diaper and tutu. He had a handle in one hand and a toy bow in the other
LOL its 11 am
If we don't rescue him from the fat chick soon, she is going to eat him alive and suck the marrow from his bones.
NO HOOKUPS IN THE CAR. I will try as i might to practice what i preach, but there are no guarantees.
So now I'm lying here in bed taking notes from Teen Mom... I fucked up
He carried around a bottle of jäger the whole night and when everyone thought the cops came, he started doing push ups in the middle of the floor cause he said it calmed him down.
Figured out why that fly won't leave. It keeps buzzing through my weed smoke
Fly high, Fly.
He yelled at me to keep it in my pants and I replied with I will fuck your roommate as much as I please. Oops
We should leave before they realize I dumped a bowl of Fritos in your bag just in case I got hungry
One of my nipples looks nothing like the other...i don't know how this happened
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