I'll let you put expensive food in me, but really, not much else.
Are you seriously drinking already? It's 11AM. Still morning.
I'm going by McDonald's time. And since they stop serving breakfast at 10:30 and start serving lunch, it is now afternoon.
he just sent me a pic of him naked with a bucket of margarita mix hanging off his dick
There's an official council for his ex boyfriends. They told me they 'look forward to the day I join them'.
you got us kicked out of the restaurant for trying to pee in the trash can.
Be subtle and tell lucas that he should sleep here tonight. And by subtle, i mean show him this text...
Between my sister puke and rallying at the bar and my brother sending a drunk passed out naked pic in which his dick was exposed, I don't know which sibling to be more proud of this weekend.
We may have picked the wrong resort. Brenna and I have already been propositioned for swinging twice and we've only been here 3 hours
Yeah i was handcuffed to the bed all night but i actually slept like a baby
You're not horrible. Thank you for my pandas.
He fell into the beer pong table and broke it. Then he threatened to throw the toliet at us if we didn't let him keep playing
Hey, it's not my fault that you had a shitty bed frame that couldn't handle the rough sex you're into.
Well. I hope my dad likes whatever sweater stoned me picks out.
I wanted to buy shoes but nothing fit. So i'm getting a vibrator.
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
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