in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
By the end of the second bowl I was making sound effects to every hand movement he made.
Saved 180 Bucks tonight. Pulled my own tooth. More money to party with.
we left the bar for like 10 minutes last night and moved his car so it wouldnt get towed. neither of us have a clue where it is right now.
dude. FULL moustache. it was like getting head from Tom Selleck
that's like riding a pigeon when you could fuck a bald eagle
when she asked where we met, i said the liquor store. the next words out of moms mouth? 'oh that's real promising molly'
Im celebrating the fact that the one guy who has ever denied me has just come out of the closet
I've decided I'm peeing in a solo cup then throwing it on his windshield. It's official. He called the cops 4 times in our first week at the house. He deserves it, right?
So I'm sitting at my desk and Thunderstruck came on my iPod. I then proceeded to drink coffee every time I heard thunderstruck. Who says you don't remember anything from college?
My code for I need help will be if I'm holding a bud light lime..
I'm surronded by jorts. You're probably too drunk to care. I'm gonna cry now. Love you.
He went down on me while i ate a whole 7/11 pizza. New level unlocked
DIBS on your mom for my beer pong partner.
I believe the only reason I am slightly functional right now is the leftover drugs in my nose that I keep sniffing
Randomize
