god i wish i could take a shit and a shower at the same time
What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
Its not alright that i make out with a manican.
Honestly, where the fuck is osama bin laden?
you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
apparently he's bringing me two things i like. he said one was him and i'm assuming the other one is his penis
i woke up with my wallet keys and phone missing and a treasure map to find them stapled to my shirt.
haha i know
In your defense, I really thought capturing that alligator would have been a lot more awesome and a lot less tragic.
RIP Mr Bojangles.
Me either. I want to get 'chase a stray cat through the neighborhood in my hooker heels' drunk. And it's your birthday, so you have to get 'best friend holding your hair while you puke in the bar bathroom and cry about your life' drunk. In a feather boa.
I was just randomly reminded of the night you were wrapped up in a bed sheet carrying a full bottle of cookie dough vodka and warning neighbors of the weirdos running around
I woke up to Elf. I don't know which one of you put that in my DVD player when I passed out but I appreciate you.
He asked if we were going to take advantage of his drunken state. When we said no he tired to show us what we were missing out on. It was so sad it almost made him cute.
when you shit yourself on the way to school its time to give up and go home
Through a complicated series of events, I wound up in the desert with a blue chick from comic-con. we lost peter. if you're alive, please come get us.
Randomize
