Maybe if i eat something filling like whole wheat pasta it will make me less hungry for things like dick
She makes me want to have breakfast margaritas every day
I remember her trying to talk to me a few times after we broke up and I'd always change the subject to bagels.
those 9 inches of man changed my life forever.
Learned my lesson. Pink pantydroppers out of a beer bong=deceiving
i feel like my tongue has its own mouth, and that mouth just bit its tongue and is clenching its teeth.
Can't a woman sleep on the floor in her own apartment in peace without being judged?
I'm going to avoid eye contact because my old high school English teacher is not who I feel like seeing after I just had a dick in my mouth
Am I supposed to confront my 52-year-old boss/mother of 3 about the fact that we matched on Tinder?
I don't think I'm ever gonna need a boyfriend again. I have a body pillow, a vibrator, and I'm strong enough to open my own jars.
I'm so festive that I used my jack o lantern bucket as a just in case barf bin
I took the beard trimmer to my balls this morning.\nMuch blood. Much blood from my scrotum.
OMG OMG OMG I just throwed up in his pillow case when he wentto start the sho wer, time to grab my bra and bounce!!!
Wow.
Ya that dick wasn't worth burning a perfectly good pizza.
You live and learn.
I'm seriously considering starting a savings account so I'll have bail money this summer.
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