She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
Partly cloudy chance of praying to the porcelin gods
I tried karate at age 7 and quit after realizing it conflicted with watching new episodes of "Full House."
I'm not going to blow you while you look at fish on the internet.
Alli causes anal leakage. You can find someone to like you if you are fat but no one will like you if you poop yourself.
Does he know anything about your personal life besides what you look like without clothes on?
I just want you to know that i just realized your the only friend i dont feel fat around.
The woman exiting the men's room tried convincing me she was actually a good-looking man.
i get of class at 4. it takes me 17 minutes to walk home and 3 to load a bowl. thank you, priority registration.
There is no way I am paying you $5 apiece for pot brownies you found behind a dumpster. $2, maybe.
She crossed her eyes and threw up into a glass while sitting at the bar. It was fifty shades of sketchy dude.
It's not an office Christmas party until your boss confesses his undying love for your boyfriend...
he went down on me while I ate Oreos. I don't know what caused the orgasm.
Thx for last night. I've never had so much fun while being told my life decisions are questionable at best.
Yeah I either headbutted a street sign while texting or I defended you two from an evil gang of nazi muggers. I was black out so I am gonna assume it was option b.
Randomize
