I want you more than these girls want KFC
Just burped. Tasted like beer and cherios...Beerios. This is gonna be quite a day.
just got drunk at a party with Christmas themed solo cups.. holidays are officially here.
Use motel 8. I'll give you my credit card #. i'll pay for it cuz i care about your vagina.
that trick or treat candy bucket that we used to collect beer money last night was very helpful when I vomited in it this morning
He did a 4 wheel burnout and yelled at the cops "Sorry! It's for a school project!". HOW does he think of this shit?
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
I want to tell everyone I've ever met about how he him picking me up and fucking me against the wall was the highlight of my life. Worst lesbian ever.
i was on the fire escape while he ate me out for a while before i realized he had shut the door behind us and locked us out and i proceeded to climb down the stairs and climb back into the party through the window.
i can only hope to be on your level one day.
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
I've talked to too many cops in one week and I haven't even committed any crimes. I hate the suburbs
Your babysitter texted, wants me to pay with weed. I don't know where to get any & don't want to. Will she take cigarettes instead? Or um, cash? Like a person?
im bringing home some absinth and some holy water. one way or another things are going to get spiritual.
These random guys found me. They told me not to wander in the woods and i remember saying 'am i fucking Bambi?! I'm not gonna walk into woods!' then i threw up.
There. There is gum on my butt cheek IT IS NOT MINE
Randomize