I love Japanese schoolgirls with short skirts riding bikes on windy days.
You're never coming back, are you?
I had sex with her because I didn't want to hurt her feelings.. You're the one who told me I should be more sensitive.
You made eat vitamins until I threw up
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
she's like the billy mays of hookups...touch my boobs and i'll throw in this blow job ABSOLUTELY FREE
I just saw him carrying his little sister while walking his puppy. And he was shirtless. I swear my ovaries just exploded
If I die young bury me in satin. And make sure there's a taco bar at my funeral.
What happened to the good old days when we whispered the words beer pong and people came running?
Guy hitting on me at bar is guy who's Craigslist ad we laughed at the other night. Not even kidding.
What part of a retired stonemason dealing with your rock hard cock does not sound like you have the wrong number ?
How many fucks given?
0.12846
just ran into my drill sergeant from basic 4 years ago. gonna take him home and have him fuck me at the cadence of quick time.
I mean, I'm shallow, narcissistic, and selfish, but I'm an amazing friend sometimes
thank you for being so understanding of my weak stomach and poor self-control
Had a dream last night where I asked you how your Christmas was and your response was, “sex, man. Just lots and lots of sex.”
Good god. A spell so dry your friends actually commit it to their subconscious!
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