You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
She was so wet my fingers were literally pruney when I got done with her
I don't want end up bound and gagged in the back of a van headed for rehab. Bound and gagged OK. Just not the rehab part.
can you go into shock from having too many orgasms? i think i went into shock.
Dude the animal human society told us we could get a dog when we came back sober. I cant wait.
Just warning you now f you do not get intoxicated with me in front of the family on thanksgiving we are not related.
you're expensive. Idk about all this. What happened to free make outs?
Sobriety and mild self-respect
Dear god. Please. Please do NOT deprive yourself of dick for 90 days. Blood will spill. Wolverines will howl. I can't handle that kind of terror.
I had jack at 8 am= instant drunk
& he told me that I give the best head ever.. like can I get that on a medal?
Now swiping left on 23-year-olds with abs. Is this adulting?
this is a mass text: the cage has been opened. repeat, the cage has been opened. a search party will be organized. you are all sloppy bitches. that is all.
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
I just woke up, dressed as Chris Brown, with a bunless hot dog (presumably from 7/11) in my pocket, wearing a pair of shoes I don't recognize as my own. Help.
Randomize
