i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
We just followed a woman home because she looked like Jeff Goldblum. Turns out she lives in a trailer park.
she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
I mean I like that it's warm enough to open the windows, but it annoys me that I can't walk around naked anymore.
she just gave her compliments to the chief, at dennys
he said he has something really important to tell me but isn't ready yet. It's either that he loves me or has herpes
I am burnt. Have a black eye. Face dove into the grass and got pissed on. Time of my life. God Bless the USA.
Last night, I accomplished the impossible. I pissed while riding my bicycle home without pissing all over myself. My Dutch friends gave me a round of applause and said I was now the king of holland.
Someone drunkenly cleaned and organized my car last night... Nothing's missing, so that's a plus.
Figured out why that fly won't leave. It keeps buzzing through my weed smoke
Fly high, Fly.
You know what id love more than anything right now? ..a back rub while eating biscuits and gravy
I made him dress me after we fucked. He put me in TMNT pants and then told me I looked hot.
i sent him a nude and he responded 6 hours later
what did he say?
"oh m god,,, whow '!!!!nm"
I woke up at 3am, top off, with campus security telling me to get dressed. Tonight was a GOOD NIGHT
You can accomplish quite a bit with a can do attitude and a well placed ice cube.
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