Sex on bubble wrap = best decision ever.
Would we rather be in rehab with the drug addicts or the girls with low self esteem?
Ok I can't be your drugdealer AND booty call AND friend. It just doesn't work that way
Tidal wave of highness just hit. Find shelter and catnip. gloves. zebra striped car washes.
For future reference "I'm too drunk to come today" is an acceptable line to get out of work. I love my job
fat people need to stop using the handicapped bathroom stall so I can have sex in it. it's common logic
I guess? According to Jeff his mom is wondering when the grand babies will arrive. So I don't think they like ME so much as my supposed functioning uterus
think I signed up for a 5k last night while blackout.
Can I just keep holy water in the night stand next to the vibrator?
I think the only option is to smoke so much weed I just pass out for 3 days.
Gay?
German.
Pity.
A party without a piñata is not a party I want to attend.
Got so drunk last night I kinda sent a super on point sext to his kid sister...say a prayer man
I was so drunk I got stuck in the middle of a revolving door
THIS IS NOT A LAUGHING MATTER, CAITLIN. MY PARENTS ARE FUCKING. LOUDLY.
Randomize
