Goddamnit I hate your level headedness
i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
I'm in the line at the airport trying not to vomit on the person in front of me. Happy Tuesday.
We're sending your burrito through the mail slot.
Bought two parrots for us. I'm keeping them at the Bellagio.
We're going to party like we don't have spanx on
That's good. Don't want to see you bellydancing in prison for homemade wine.
my ex's current girlfriend held my hair as I threw up. new low.
I CLEANED MY BATHROOM FOR YOU!! betrayal
This feels more like a conference of all the people I've fucked in the past year.
How are you and your magical vagina doing today?
And he claims I gave him “fuck me” eyes while he was ordering me a happy meal
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
The gift for sixth anniversary is steel. He bought me handcuffs. Inee I married the right man!
Randomize
