So, someone in Olympia stole my credit card # last week and bought a platypus vibrator with it. That’s it.
How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
I've drank myself into a smaller pants size. Who ever said alcoholism was unhealthy was mistaken.
I like that most of our conversations somehow end in us having sex for the good of our country
My hanfda are one with the u niverse and I am cirretnly inhaling a couch
The Supreme Court upheld health insurance. If that's not an excuse to get hospital drunk, I don't know what is.
I think we can all agree that the size of her boobs, combined with beer, is destroying my ability to judge looks.
I'll come hang out with you guys later, but right now my parents aren't home and I have to take full advantage of being able to watch porn on full blast.
There is an alarming amount of food in my bra.
Happy Father's Day to the first man I called Daddy while cumming.
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that
hold on i need to sex proof my eyelashes. thank godd for waterproof mascara
Holy shit dude........stairs
Yeah. I fucked her boyfriend, she knows, and she still wants to keep dating him. That's love.
Randomize
