All drunkenness aside, confirm u are alive
im having a threesome with these popsicles
we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
Just say its a British thing. They wont know Its not. And if they say you're not British, proposition them for a post-sex game of cricket.
I just learned a new drink. Sloppy Ninja. Half Saki Half Nyquil
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
Dude I wanna go on a booze cruise
Dude our life is a booze cruise
But without boats...
They kept barging in on us saying random shit. At one point they came in yelling room service! and threw soda at us bruising my foot. Weirdest injury I have gotten during sex.
The boys wrestled in the living room for the last condom while the girls chanted, "THE LAST MELON."
I feel like I'm in a development meeting for a Lifetime original movie.
For a second I thought that you were becoming a decent person again. I am glad I was wrong.
Ugh... The hoe gods giveth and the hoe gods taketh away.
I'm sitting here with a band aid on my labia, this is a first
Getting a lap dance from a girl you went to high school with really isn't as awkward as you'd think
And she called me out by name, nothing could have made it more awkward but it ended up not being that bad
To describe how high he was he said, " I'm cocked out of my ape sandwich" so yes...that was some pretty good weed.
Randomize
