bitch asked me if i cared if she kept her snuggie on while we had sex
every time i get drunk at her place i end up leaving with nothing but an empty box of toaster strudels..
Farmville is her only friend.
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
Dude cabbage spilt on the floor, and now danielles rolling it. Happy st party's day.
I'm stoned and just shared 4 cookies with this chicks dog
They're raisins though so they're healthy. No worries.
Just retrieve me from the bathroom floor when you're done
I screamed "I want dick!" in the middle of the intersection. So many hot guys. I wish you were here.
i told him I'd let him eat part of a weed cookie out of my cleavage, so he pulled over like a gentleman.
Drunk me obviously wants to fuck up my life
It's like I have an arch nemesis, and it's me
Girls at BYU need to learn how to handle a penis. I swear my date last night was trying to pull it off my body to use later.
I just saw someone dressed as a bear leave your house on a motorcycle. I guess you guys are having a good time.
he tied his pants around my leg to stop the bleeding... i think he just wanted a good excuse to take his pants off
well did it work?
it was a success in both ways.
the bastard is cheating on me with some sleazy barista from Starbucks
That’s his wife they’re back together
You say potato, I say sleazy barista
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