it turns out jennifers body is not good to beat off to. yeah its megan fox but when she pukes up blood = goodbye boner
Just saw a woman in a hospital gown with a Steelers jersey on top smoking a cigarette while hooked up to an IV outside of the hospital. I love Pittsburgh.
Just when I think I'm the one with the problem, I get home for the holidays and the family shows me what alcoholism is really about
Woke up with two cats staring at me. One covered in puke thats giving me a look that says it might be my fault. Where am I? Come get me.
Sober me does NOT approve of what went on in my pants last night.
I have green food coloring in my hair and just got a text from "Guy in the Yard"...so this morning is going just as you might imagine.
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
Yeah I'm at the doctors getting a shotand don't know how to tell them I'm still probably drunk from last night
The worst part about being a grammar Nazi is all the porn I skip over because the titles are misspelled
Best line overheard at the bar: "This is the last time I'm shaving my ass for him...I mean we just broke up".
Not only did I get the promotion, but last night after sex he took me outside and let me hold it for him while he peed in the snow. I made a heart. This week is going amazing
Hey every now and then can you tell me you want to fuck me to boost my confidence? Thanks.
I just want to nap all the time and eat Chinese food.
I have been adopted by a clan of drunken skinny dipping tourists.
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