How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
If I was on drugs, this would be amazing
He was doing push ups, crunches and jogging in place in front of the restaurant. I'm not too sure I want to eat there if it requires immediate exercise following the meal.
why is my clorox wipe dispenser full of tortillas?
I'll wind up on his doorstep with a confused "oh you live here" expression, a feigned ankle injury and a seemingly fortunately placed bottle of tequila. I don't care what it takes: HIS MOUTH WILL BE ON MOUTH.
I think I will be cutting those pills in half...Jesus just tried to sell me a toothbrush.
I'm with Tony. He said he volunteers his ball sack for waxing but you will have to wait a few weeks. It is a freshly shaved sack. I guess he thought he was gonna get lucky. Wtf?
Smooth sack
Too lazy to make dinner. Had chocolate and scotch instead. Check in with me in a half hour.
well we called the liquor store to tell them to stay open five more minutes so we could make it and they recognized our voices. I've never been more proud.
Wellp yesterday was spent absurdly hungover and today was spent in planned parenthood so I hope that's not an indication of the year to come
You would only karaoke to Spanish songs, but sang with the accent of the french candle stick in beauty and the beast.
McDonald's and a car nap. I feel kinda human
Please tell me I didn't send you a dick pic in the middle of Peter Pan..
So last night, I bought mother's day cards and the Plan B pill.
Randomize
