You were so drunk last night you typed www.face.come/cheese.com as if you were logging into facebook.
The only reason anyone found out he threw up is because everyone heard it sizzle the bonfire out.
He just ordered a bottle of Beam at an Italian place for us to share.
Went to the strip club with my aunt. Do you know how hard it is to be a pervert in front of your female family members?
IT'S A HOLY FESTIVAL. A BUDDHIST CELEBRATION OF PENIS.
Hold on I'm doing something revolutionary that blossomed from a high idea
My dick was almost in plain McDonald's sight
I have the relationship skills of Miley Cyrus and I could've said this was a bad idea
But for real though. That weed tastes like the jolly laughter of Santa Claus.
I'm pretty sure that the bartender arranged a marriage for me last night. Sounds like a legit birthday present to me.
I don't think I bit anyone but I woke up to scrapes knees, bruises and new friends.
Tried to shave my legs but the rug burn on my knees from last night got in the way.
I just made my mom buy me lube. I've reached a new level of broke.
He asked if I could not say his name during sex cause he liked the girl in the apartment above me.
My roommate made maccoroni last nigh dropped the bowl off the counter knocking it into the dog bowl he picked up the dog bowl and started eating it claiming it was te worst Mac and cheese ever and if he wasnt so high he would stop eating it hahahaha
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