Sooo... I woke up in the shower this morning. It was on.
Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
The best thing happened. Some guy was butchering Conway Twitty at karoke and the power went off in the whole bar. And someone shouted "you pissed jesus off when you messed with conway!"
i should start naming my morning wood
great idea but wrong number
Well, if your day started with strippers, then we're tied. Otheriwse, I'm winning.
I just saw a girl walk by me wearing a "kiss me I'm pro choice" shirt. Is that a signal for easy access?
Dude, seduce him with cookies. You almost turned me gay with scones. Don't be surprised when they get you laid.
he's a firefighter. like being a firefighter screams MY DICK IS HUGE SO I'M NOT AFRAID TO DIE IN THIS FIRE.
Good. Go forth, young stallion. Destroy the vaginal region with your tidy crotch.
You sent me a naked picture of you as a child? How is that normal
DUDE FUCK CALL ME SHE HAS GRANDKIDS
he told me his feelings for me AFTER sex, so that means he meant it right?
Married dude I had an affair with 10yrs ago was at table next to us at dinner last nite. My mom asked him to take a pic of us & then commented how cute he was as they left. Do I tell her he’s got a huge D too?
So my best friends wedding ended with everyone seeing me getting eaten out behind the forbes church. Classy!
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