that's an acceptable place to lick
My parking ticket this morning was 30bucks. I feel like I'm paying the city to fuck you.
Sorry i'm not sorry i made out with your dad. It was father's day weekend, get a grip
My motherly instincts are overcoming my slutty ones
I flossed his teeth and then we had sex in the bathroom. It just seemed like a good idea.
Just got your message from Saturday. Shove all the kittens down your pants? Really?
I was emotionally compromised.
There can only be one screw up per family and I was here first. Get your shit together bro
After we had sex he told me it was a "goodbye gift". We haven't talked since.
I just smoked a bowl alone and took my Zyrtec here's to a full night.
He's slurring his text. I didn't think that was possible.
So who left their underwear on a lamppost in my aunt's backyard
I just tripped over a but plug that was on the floor. It's 430 in the morning
I know I joke about running from my problems a lot but I'm 3 miles off-campus and need a ride
Nice. Make him jerk off and tape it. Send it to his woman. I also love that you had another skype date
The Adderall says yes, but my body says no.
Randomize
