11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
I like the one of me you and her but you're looking at me...Total foreshadowing right there. I'm cropping it
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
I was just handed jelly beans by a guy in a penguin costume. Standby for confirmation on if they are actually drugs.
Yea, I had a chaperone thankfully. I'm in the fetal position attempting to eat captain crunch now.
Apparently he crashed because 3 different girls were trying to give him road head at the same time.
Got a traffic ticket on the way home.. Literally cost me $171 to give him a blowjob. I swear the officer could smell the cum in my hair.
I asked this couple what they would like to drink and they leaned toward me eagerly and asked if we still have THE root beer ... Idk if this is code for please add cocaine to my drink
did you just take a shot to penises and friendship?
I will have to bone him sometime between now and July so he will move all my shit again
Dudes don't just lick butts of chicks they're not into.
The look of disappointment from my cat while I take nudes...
Also, why does our bed smell like mayonnaise?
You stuck your false lashes to your upper lip and then asked that ONE kid with facial hair if your "mustaches could touch" as an excuse to make out.
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