Already got asked if we're dating
Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
Non-Jews are for practice
thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
He called me from prison intake to wish me luck on my job interview. Somehow that's the most romantic thing that's ever happened to me.
You were high and telling me you felt like Pinocchio and that fire was bad for wood.
I just want to jump into a ballpool of dicks now.
There are several different types of life sentences in my purse right now.
Running into your random closeted hookup from last night is really awkward when you have to sit next to him and his girlfriend in a 200 person class.
Tabs I had open this morning: "15 hedgehogs with things that look like hedgehogs" and an unexplored google search for "how do I express my love of tacos"
I am an advanced cybernetic robot sent back in time to 2013 to fuck my wife senseless for hours on end. Have you seen this wife?
Eddy, if you don't want to roll play then say so. This is just obnoxious
You're talking about alcohol when the smell of hand sanitizer is too much for me right now
I took the pregnancy test for shits and giggles, but neither shits nor giggles were had.
You told us that you were going to become a 'new man' and threw your tv set out of a window.
But I made it seem like I wasn't hungover at work, so that's a plus.
Randomize
