I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
Banjos are just sex machines. Like lights to moths, banjos are to hipster bitches.
there's no toilet paper. I'm using wheat bread.
It's amazing how many friends she makes simply by carrying that flask of whiskey everywhere she goes.
We can just keep having sex until one of us finds someone we actually like
If that's all it takes to cure your hangovers then you need to drink more.
just texted my dealer that i could taste the blue but not the cheese. i said i could taste blue.
Its alot like that time you got motorboated by the carni at the rodeo.
I threw up in bed last night and tried cleaning it with oldspice and baby powder
Dude, we got to the strip club as they were closing, and you starting crying because, and I quote, "This is the closest to birthday sex I'm gonna get."
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
and please, if you feel the urge to call me crying tomorrow night, do so. i will be home bored and sober.
If he flies out here I will sleep with him. I have morals, but not when it comes to southern accents
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