I'm drinking till I'm someone else's problem
If you're ever in Seattle we should Fuck. Or get coffee, whatever.
i just made my mom cry by blowing spit bubbles.
It was like watching Stephen Hawking try to swim.
since we're both too lazy to go to each others house, you drink there, i'll drink here and we'll skype. it's the same thing.
I made a google map for "places I got blow jobs"
I just scratched behind my ear and found icing. Fuck you.
Howd you meet this guy?
I found him next to my pants on sunday morn.
I mean besides the fact someone got stabbed, I still had a pretty good night.
It's gotten to the point that the dirty talk in my head when I touch myself has your accent
I just wish my penis was a person so I could give him a high five.
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
day drinking caused me to be in bed at a decent time. can't complain.
How about this: I support you through your miserable marriage, and you support me through all my anonymous sex?
I JUST SNEEZED WITH A MOUTHFUL OF CHEWED UP CASHEWS AND THEY CAME OUT MY NOSE AND IT HURT AND NOW I HAVE A LITTLE NOSEBLEED
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