Not gonna happen. She just told me she puts glitter over the mole on her nose to make it look like a piercing.
it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
This is a mass text. Surprise drug testing at work today. Either I've finally got to fuck my boss or I've got to quit to make this all go away. Please respond with option a or b.
I feel like I wont be making enough money to support my frivilous lifestyle of beer and mcdonalds
My first drink last night was a 2-liter of jameson and coke. So hung over it hurt to put my pants back on
I AM TEN TEQUIA SHOOTS ON AND I JUST SAW SOMEONE DO A BODY SHOT OFFF OF JESUS
THIS FEELS SO WROG AND OH SO RIGHT
its 2pm. u awake yet?
ill text u back later. still peeling fingernail polish off my face.
we managed to melt a few different forms of plastic into the cannibutter....
Successfully defrauded the county government. What have you done today?
I say I'm working from home on conference call days, but really I just mute the phone, put that shit on speaker so I can hear what's going on, and let Marcus fuck my brains out.
So? Find me, fuck me, then you can go to sleep and I'll leave.
Wow. That's the most amazing thing anyone has ever said to me.
I cannot pick him out of a line up. I remember he is blonde and his half flaccid dick looks like gonzo. So unless he pulls down his pants I don't know who he is
He pulled out a Plan B pill and handed it to me as I left like it was a party favor. God Bless America.
I woke up under the stretchy sheet like the corners were still stuck under the bed. I had to wiggle the corners off in order to get up. I was trapped. how did that happen
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
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