...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
Hey kate, how is it?
sloppy...it's emily. kate just tried to do a keg stand. they dropped her. we're leaving.
Mom's drinking. Just asked her if she was good to walk back to the condo. She seemed unsure until she remembered she brought the GPS. We are 2 blocks from the condo.
I don't think my arm is broken I can still text
hungover subway ride filled with german tourists and a mariachi band. too early. too fuckin early
No it's cool, He's been doing my English papers in exchange for lap dances since the eleventh grade. We're very professional.
Just called the consul general of France "dude"
I ran into my boss at the liquor store on our lunch hour we both just stood there awkwardly until i was like your car bar or mine hahaha we both need a cab
You were so drunk last night you left the bar to go buy a razor so you could go home with him
Dad's teaching me to make moonshine this weekend as "college prep". How scared should I be sis?
Are you playing pokemon in the dark and sexting? I can't be mad at that.
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
Passed out in someones front yard last night. Got woke u?p by a lady walking her dog at 6am. Rock bottom.
Rationing the toilet paper. Only one wipe allowed. I'm scared to move too much.
AND ONCE AGAIN THE HENNESSEY MAKES ME A SUPER SAIYAN
Oh for fuck's sake, is that why the couch is in the pool???
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